Submarine, the Soundtrack

When my first proper adult relationship fell apart, I was on my way to Paris. It was the summer of 2017, the first week of sunny June. The news caught me off guard. You could say I didnt see it coming. I read the text on the bus as it was pulling into Victoria Station. I dont want to sound dramatic, but I felt all my energy leave me as I got off that bus. I lost my appetite. I survived on tiny portions of dinner while my friends urged me to eat more. In the day time, I nibbled on croissants. Cheese, beautiful cheese; even the smell put me off.  I recovered my appetite gradually over the next few weeks. 

We stayed in a shitty little overpriced hostel close by the Eiffel Tower. One morning I woke up early and couldn't bring myself to get out of bed. I lay there for hours crying. This was what I listened to. 

My healing included poetry, mint chocolate chip ice cream, movie nights with friends who refused to leave me alone, that spot in the park by the lake near the red bridge, and throwing out his stuff. 

It's the summer of 2018 now, the tracks dont make me sad anymore. I still think it's beautiful music. But every time I listen I remember the time I cried and cried and thought it wouldn't ever stop. I prayed to be better already.

I am better already. 

[Brian]