You don't think I'm sad? You think I get by just fine? I'm not the one who gets to break down. Not in this instance. That's for you, you get to do that. So I hold it together. I'm not going to be sad around you. It'd be selfish of me.
I cry. I cry everyday almost. When I sleep. When I study. When I'm alone. I can't take it sometimes, all this emotion. I wish I didn't have to feel it. Like I could just lock it away somewhere and deal with it later. Or never maybe. It overwhelms me.
She's gone. But she's safe now. I take a huge amount of solace in that. I don't expect you to see it that way anytime soon. But don't ever assume I've forgotten, or that I don't care.
It physically hurts me to see you sad. But you need time, and I understand that. I know sometimes I come off cold and uncaring, but that's me trying to give you space to breathe. To think. To grieve.
Time. They like to say it heals.
I suppose we'll find out.
