Funny how going back to school can turn you into the raging, pessimistic horror of a person you swore you'd never go back to. You'd never again need to turn to the bottom of a bottle or smoke or shoot up or cut to feel happy (or feel anything at all).
Like a 3 month holiday was ever going to change, basically, my entire outlook on life. Who was I trying to kid?
This whole year has gone by in a blur, and for once that's actually true. I feel a constant distance recently. And not just from people, from myself. I cant feel anymore, if that makes sense. My days have become a haze of accumulated work, assignments, applications, due dates and test scores, culminating on a one time only performance in a cold dank exam hall.
Can you feel numb? I mean, isn't it, by very definition, devoid of sensation.
Hunger, pain, cold, pleasure.
Where'd they go?
