How could I allow myself to be miserable just because I fear change?
I've got to do it because I WANT to do it,
Not to please anyone,
Or to conform to ideas others have set for me,
Even if their intentions were only but pure,
I've got to be comfortable with MY choices,
I've got to be comfortable in MY own skin,
Something which I haven't been able to do for awhile now.
I've been sad for a long time now,
And the events that unfolded today,
Have shown me that there is still hope,
I'm not a lost cause after all.
I've known all along,
I just refused to accept His help,
I thought I could go through this life alone,
And after I soared, crashed and burned,
I thought He could never want me back,
How wrong I was.
Here I am at my lowest,
After all the wrong I've done,
After the last two years of my life spent groveling in sin,
Still He is here,
Waiting for me to come home.
Change will not be easy,
But I WILL try,
I WILL stop hurting,
Both outside and inside,
Soon, the marks on my arm will be nothing but a fading memory.
Just because I'm not taking it as a subject,
Doesn't mean I'm selling out,
Or giving in,
It just means that I'm only human.
Forgive me Father for I've sinned,
And thank You for all the blessings I've received,
What was lost is now found,
Your child is finally coming home,
Amen.
