You Aren't Mine

Oh my,
I felt my heart crack a little,
As I read your words,
Do you really think that?
Do you?

What kind of impossible fantasy have I been living?
The one where after all this is over,
You and I can be,
How pretentious of me,
To think you still feel as I do.

I feel this dull tugging pain,
It surrounds my body,
Its in the music I hear,
In the food I taste,
It wont leave me be.

I understand though,
I broke it the first time,
I don't deserve you,
But that doesn't make me want you any less.

I need to forget you,
But there are too many good memories,
They haunt my dreams,
They keep me awake at night.

I shouldn't have let this happen again...

 

Hindsight's a real beach...

Mummy...

There are so many paths I could have taken,
So many mistakes I could have made,
But you were there,
I had a light to follow,
I had you.

Your name is a prayer on my lips,
And (soon) a tattoo over my heart,
Your voice is a choir in harmony,
Your smile heals the wound in my soul,
And heaven is at your feet.

With every breath that fills my lungs,
With every beat of my broken heart,
And with every fibre of my being,
I will love you,
I will always love you.

Sleeping at Last - Turning Page (Piano)

 

This song reminds me of the reason I fell in love with the piano

 

 

 

Maroon 5 - One More Night

 

Let me make something clear first. I love Maroon 5 and have loved their music for a long time. I liked them even when they were Kara's Flowers.

 

But 'Payphone' is an AWFUL song. There's nothing about that song that I like. And it seems to play EVERYTIME I get into the car.  In my opinion, 'Songs About Jane' was their best album to date - There (literally) isn't a track on that album that I don't like

 

But people change, and I suppose their music evolves - That's where this song comes in.  It's got a catchy tune and it makes me wanna dance.

 

And you know dancing is always a good thing :D

 

My Heart Out In Cyberspace

To put it simply,

I've been thinking about you,

To the point when it's considered unhealthy,

I wouldn't say I'm sad,

Because we ended nicely,

On good terms,

But I do miss you.

There's this tiny nagging feeling at the back of my mind,

A constant reminder of you and everything we had,

I recall that wonderful night at camp,

And that 4 hour phone call the night before my Chemistry exam,

Damn these memories,

They won't leave me alone.

As I write this,

I'm furiously wishing that you'll read it,

Maybe - Just maybe,

You feel the same way,

I'm putting my heart out in cyberspace,

Hoping you'll find it.

Congratulations Pandelela!

History has been made and I was here to witness it!  Sarawakian diver, Pandelela Rinong is Malaysia's first ever woman's medalist, and first ever Olympic winner outside of badminton, when she won bronze in the Women's 10m Platform event.

It made me so very proud to be Malaysian when I saw her dive. I felt so united, like we were all on the same side, cheering and supporting the same thing - the same person. I felt this same overwhelming sense of pride when I watched our badminton hero, Dato Lee Chong Wei, during the finals.

Gold, Silver or Bronze

You guys have made us very proud to be Malaysian.

Our Olympians have united a nation.

After she won the bronze medal!

Road to the Olympics

China's Chen Ruolin - Gold.
Australia's Brittany Broben - Silver.
Malaysia's Pandelela Rinong - Bronze :D

Yuna - Dan Sebenarnya

I am quite surprised that I didn't hear of Yuna before this. Her voice is so very unique. Hers is the kind of voice you'd like to wrap around yourself on a rainy evening.

She's wonderful jazz singer - Which is why I'm surprised it took me so long to find her.

But its alright - The point is I found her :D

Dan sebenarnya ku mengharapkan
Di sebalik senyuman mu itu
Kau juga merindui aku

Dont Give Up : London 2012

Its okay Chong Wei

We love you

:)

Paolo Nutini - Coming Up Easy

There's no way you can't Love Paolo Nutini.

He's a 20 something 3rd generation Italian hailing from Scotland, who sounds like an 80 year old black jazz singer.

And he's hot.

This music video is SUPER weird. Good weird. But still - weird.

It's got a life size rabbit drinking and dancing with Paolo. (?)

LOL

Paolo Nutini - Jenny Don't Be Hasty

I first heard this song years ago on a very nice episode of CSI NY, 'Snow Day'.

My favourite part is

'Then I'm definitely waiting for you to smile and change your mind
Then I'll say I'm sorry and I'll wrap my arms 'round your body'

:D 

Coldplay - God Put A Smile Upon Your Face (Glastonbury 2011)

I dont think I will ever find a Coldplay song I dislike. They're just that good!

This is probably one of the best live versions of 'God Put A Smile On Your Face' ever. Ever. You can just see Will Champion beating his heart out on those drums. Epic intro!

You may now surrender yourself to the awesomeness that is Coldplay.

Personal Tutoring

After class, All alone,
Once the students have cleared,
It's just you and me,
I do realize I may be overstepping my bounds,
But I. Couldnt. Care. Less.

I pull my chair closer,
And watch you intently,
As you go on about ionic bonding,
I gaze at your marvelous jaw line,
And am forced to bring my eyes back up to yours,
When I think you've caught me staring.

Yes - It does seem that I've forgotten Chemistry basics,
You'll just have to teach me again,
Wonderful,
I hug myself with glee,
I can't wait for my next personal tutoring.

Note to self : Never, ever, ever read Fifty Shades before class. Ever. ;)

Pangkor Was Awesome... Nuff said

Basically, Pangkor was the chun-est chun thing since the latest chun thing, EVER.

I suppose Rueben was correct when he said 'Dei, you'll LOVE it when we get back'. The people were great, the water was fine and the sun was shining! What more could you want! And our 4am chitapa was one of the greatest things that happened there - You know who you are!

          

I cant believe how much I missed the water. All I could do was stand at the shore and wait for the water to bury my feet into the sand with each wave. Then after our not-so-snorkeling, we went to swim in the sea and bobbed around for a few hours. There was this moment where I lay down on the sand and my thoughts were clear and my troubles were gone - I'll never forget it.

         
There were so many other crazy things like Pangkor Mac, Babe and his Oscar winnning performance as Sultan Haji Ahmad Shah II, the Minions, Hollaback Muniamah, the most violent 'bottle game' EVER and climbing in the forest barefoot!

I Kinda Love Chris Evans...

I have nothing substantial to say except that I currently love Chris Evans.

Yeah, I finally went to watch The Avengers today, and my eyes were transfixed on Captain America in that fine blue suit. I would describe his character as the cute, geeky boy next door - just way more ripped!

Boy next door

He's got these piercing eyes as blue as the sea and a six pack so perfect, you'd think it was sculpted by the Gods. It shouldn't be legal to be as hot as him.

Can't you feel your heart racing, just a bit

                                   

Chris Evans as Captain America



                   

 Oh well, I guess that's it for now. I'm gonna go ogle at some more pics of him. Bye. :D

Of Memories and Old Photographs

I let you down,
I didn't realise it at the time,
I love you more than the oxygen that keeps me alive,
But time and time again,
My actions betray my pathetic words.

Please know that it was, is, and never will be my intention to hurt you,
I can't care for myself,
But I do care for you,
And I can't bear it when I do something stupid like that - without even realising.

Is this the consequence of building walls?
I speak from experience when I say emotions get in the way,
I've concluded that I don't need them.

But an unfortunate side effect is,
I am now cold and distant,
In my greatest attempts to purge myself of emotions,
I have hurt you.

I want to keep memories too,
And if pictures are the way to do that,
Then I'll take all the pictures you want,
I'll do anything - As long as you're happy.

I am sorry.

Deep Dark Thoughts

Would it be too dramatic to say,
I wish to drown in the ocean,
Somewhere deep and dark - Where light from the sun cannot reach,
Where no one will notice my absence,
Let the salt water fill my lungs,
Let me gasp and struggle in vain for the breath I traded away,
To feel the life draining from me,
And then nothing.

Would society deem me a freak,
If my deepest desire is to climb the tallest mountain in the world,
Just to freeze,
It would be rather slow and lonely, 
But it would it not be peaceful,
Nothing but cold air and snow,
With the wind lulling me into an everlasting slumber,
Ensuring me the troubles of this world are almost over,
If I just fall asleep.

Defense is paper thin,
Too deep now to ever swim against the current,
So let me slip away,
Just let me slip away.

Just Another BM Class

As I sit here,
Slouched in this uncomfortable chair,
I, with every fibre of my being,
Will the time to move faster,
Alas it does not,
In fact I think it slowed down,
Just to screw with me.

I cannot concentrate,
I feel like my brain has been super glued together,
My motor functions seem so - delayed,
I would compare it to Malaysian public transport.

Ive resorted to drawing the human circulatory system in my notebook,
Complete with names and labels,
From memory!
So you can tell how bored I am,
Yes yes,
Its just another BM class...

Joe Brooks - Someday

This is Joe Brooks.

He's my latest obsession.

He's got the wickedest accent and is SO cute. Oh gosh, he makes me feel like a girly girl. Like an innocent, lipstick wearing, handbag swinging girly girl who still believes in soul mates and true love (and Santa).

All his songs are about naive teenagers chasing after that ever elusive 'perfect love'. Doesn't it just make you smile that there ARE people who still believe in it?  :D 

I'd just LOVE him if it wasn't for the Bieber hairstyle. Oh well... :)







I suppose I should thank you...

...for not inflicting any physical damage. No hitting or beating or slapping or pinching. I suppose I should be grateful that YOU didnt leave any visible brusing. Thankfully, scars fade. But, memories do not. The pain you caused me hurt more than any beating - crying infront of you simply made me feel pathetic. So can you tell me how many sleepless nights Im going to spend reliveing those memories?

Jackass.

That was the term you used for me. Can you remember? Probably not. If Im such a nusance for you, why didnt you drop me down a flight of steps when I was a baby? Why dont you push me down a flight of steps now? It would save you time and money and save me heartbreak.

Im glad you're back
What made me say that? Why did I? The events that unfolded on Friday contradicts that ludicrous statement. I have cried many tears because of you and cut deep because of the things you say.

That wall I vowed I'd build is crumbling,
My claims of strength and indifference are lies,
My sarcastic exterior is but a mask,
To hide all the wounds,
But its nothing time and sleeping pills cant heal.

It would be too easy to blame you,
No, I blame myself for getting too comfortable,
It's my fault,
It's all my fault.

So I suppose I should thank you?