I saw you in class on Sunday,
I came late and nearly died when you looked at me (and smiled),
You were explaining the collision theory of particles when I walked in.
You looked nice,
Wearing a dark brown checkered office shirt,
With those grey slacks that I oh so love,
Paired with your usual black leather belt with the shiny buckle,
And the silver watch fits snugly around your left wrist.
I've never seen that shirt before,
It looked nice on you,
But I think it'd look better on the floor.
Haha!
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Humor Is Like Liquid Foundation
My name is Jane. You know why? Because it's common. You know why? So you won't know who I am. So my friends and family who stumble upon this blog won't know that it's actually ME who's blogging.
You wanna know why? Because from now on, my revamped blog is going to include some very depressing stuff. I'm going to be blogging about anything from suicide to self harm to self loathing and I can't possibly let them read all that. They'll think I'm insane - a freak ; they'll lock me up. I can't have that. I need an outlet to vent without being caught and and THIS seemed like the most logical place to do it.
Now, I'm quite pleased with my blog's new title. It sort of warns you about the kind of horror you could encounter here. My other choices were something like 'The Great Depression' or '1000 Ways to Kill Yourself Before You Die' - something funny like that. You know WHY? Because humor hides your problems like how liquid foundation hides ugly people.
No, I'm serious. I'm seriously serious.
It works like a freaking charm. I am funny. Like very funny. I'm sarcastic and witty and full of humor - because it hides your problems. (And Im not gonna bother to be modest on this blog because you dont know who I am). So my posts here are going to be depressing but it'll be funny. Somewhat. I make no promises.
So goodnight because it's nighttime.
Or rather, good morning because it's 12AM.
I don't know. You decide.
You wanna know why? Because from now on, my revamped blog is going to include some very depressing stuff. I'm going to be blogging about anything from suicide to self harm to self loathing and I can't possibly let them read all that. They'll think I'm insane - a freak ; they'll lock me up. I can't have that. I need an outlet to vent without being caught and and THIS seemed like the most logical place to do it.
Now, I'm quite pleased with my blog's new title. It sort of warns you about the kind of horror you could encounter here. My other choices were something like 'The Great Depression' or '1000 Ways to Kill Yourself Before You Die' - something funny like that. You know WHY? Because humor hides your problems like how liquid foundation hides ugly people.
No, I'm serious. I'm seriously serious.
It works like a freaking charm. I am funny. Like very funny. I'm sarcastic and witty and full of humor - because it hides your problems. (And Im not gonna bother to be modest on this blog because you dont know who I am). So my posts here are going to be depressing but it'll be funny. Somewhat. I make no promises.
So goodnight because it's nighttime.
Or rather, good morning because it's 12AM.
I don't know. You decide.
Sunday, February 26, 2012
Relapse
My arm,
I can feel it tingling,
An after effect of the deed that had been done,
A lack of will power,
Coupled with an engulfing hopelessness,
Makes up that tingling in my arm.
Only a week has passed since,
I thought I'd last longer,
But I was so sad,
And it was lying right there,
It was too easy - I had too,
So I did.
I picked up,
And it tore across me,
It felt so good - Too good,
I had to do it again,
So I did.
I felt so high,
It was a rush,
And after it wore off,
Clarity came quickly,
And with clarity,
Those damn tears stopped,
I could think and feel again,
All thats left are red lines,
Lots of red lines.
Im sorry
I can feel it tingling,
An after effect of the deed that had been done,
A lack of will power,
Coupled with an engulfing hopelessness,
Makes up that tingling in my arm.
Only a week has passed since,
I thought I'd last longer,
But I was so sad,
And it was lying right there,
It was too easy - I had too,
So I did.
I picked up,
And it tore across me,
It felt so good - Too good,
I had to do it again,
So I did.
I felt so high,
It was a rush,
And after it wore off,
Clarity came quickly,
And with clarity,
Those damn tears stopped,
I could think and feel again,
All thats left are red lines,
Lots of red lines.
Im sorry
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Rabu Abu
Yes, Ash Wednesday is here! Which means it's the beginning of the lent season. Which in turn means we're all veggies for 40 days, but I don't mind. I'm actually quite excited for this year's lent and Easter, don't know why... So yesterday we went for evening mass and had ashes (of palm leaves, not people) smeared on our forehead. The whole mass was just brilliant. The cantor sang beautifully and the Chinese choir, as always, was wonderful. So after that we went for dinner.... Steamboat! Yes, we were aware that it's not as simple as Ash Wednesday dinners go, but we'll make up for it by eating more taufu.
School was not bad, mostly cause I got a few A's. And after perhimpunan, I*** and I were singing the Grease soundtrack in the BP and annoying the hell out of T*****! Meeting however was just long and boring.
Oh, and then there's The BP Ghost.
Allow me to explain.
The boys have come up with this ludicrous theory that there is a ghost haunting the BP. The theory came about to explain some peculiar occurrences in the BP. Doors swinging open and close of their own account, vanishing doorknobs and stuff misplaced in rather unusual places are just some of the happenings in the BP. This is their conclusion,
There is a guy who was murdered in the BP in the year 2117. So he has come back to his past (our present) to stop his murder from ever taking place. Yes, that means he's a time traveller.
These guys have to stop watching the Big Bang Theory. :D
And now, off to swallow a whole bottle of panadol to nurse that on coming migraine of mine.
Chow.
School was not bad, mostly cause I got a few A's. And after perhimpunan, I*** and I were singing the Grease soundtrack in the BP and annoying the hell out of T*****! Meeting however was just long and boring.
Oh, and then there's The BP Ghost.
Allow me to explain.
The boys have come up with this ludicrous theory that there is a ghost haunting the BP. The theory came about to explain some peculiar occurrences in the BP. Doors swinging open and close of their own account, vanishing doorknobs and stuff misplaced in rather unusual places are just some of the happenings in the BP. This is their conclusion,
There is a guy who was murdered in the BP in the year 2117. So he has come back to his past (our present) to stop his murder from ever taking place. Yes, that means he's a time traveller.
These guys have to stop watching the Big Bang Theory. :D
And now, off to swallow a whole bottle of panadol to nurse that on coming migraine of mine.
Chow.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
I'm Only Human :)
How could I allow myself to be miserable just because I fear change?
I've got to do it because I WANT to do it,
Not to please anyone,
Or to conform to ideas others have set for me,
Even if their intentions were only but pure,
I've got to be comfortable with MY choices,
I've got to be comfortable in MY own skin,
Something which I haven't been able to do for awhile now.
I've been sad for a long time now,
And the events that unfolded today,
Have shown me that there is still hope,
I'm not a lost cause after all.
I've known all along,
I just refused to accept His help,
I thought I could go through this life alone,
And after I soared, crashed and burned,
I thought He could never want me back,
How wrong I was.
Here I am at my lowest,
After all the wrong I've done,
After the last two years of my life spent groveling in sin,
Still He is here,
Waiting for me to come home.
Change will not be easy,
But I WILL try,
I WILL stop hurting,
Both outside and inside,
Soon, the marks on my arm will be nothing but a fading memory.
Just because I'm not taking it as a subject,
Doesn't mean I'm selling out,
Or giving in,
It just means that I'm only human.
Forgive me Father for I've sinned,
And thank You for all the blessings I've received,
What was lost is now found,
Your child is finally coming home,
Amen.
I've got to do it because I WANT to do it,
Not to please anyone,
Or to conform to ideas others have set for me,
Even if their intentions were only but pure,
I've got to be comfortable with MY choices,
I've got to be comfortable in MY own skin,
Something which I haven't been able to do for awhile now.
I've been sad for a long time now,
And the events that unfolded today,
Have shown me that there is still hope,
I'm not a lost cause after all.
I've known all along,
I just refused to accept His help,
I thought I could go through this life alone,
And after I soared, crashed and burned,
I thought He could never want me back,
How wrong I was.
Here I am at my lowest,
After all the wrong I've done,
After the last two years of my life spent groveling in sin,
Still He is here,
Waiting for me to come home.
Change will not be easy,
But I WILL try,
I WILL stop hurting,
Both outside and inside,
Soon, the marks on my arm will be nothing but a fading memory.
Just because I'm not taking it as a subject,
Doesn't mean I'm selling out,
Or giving in,
It just means that I'm only human.
Forgive me Father for I've sinned,
And thank You for all the blessings I've received,
What was lost is now found,
Your child is finally coming home,
Amen.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
A-Not-So-Recovering Addict
'Oh God, I can think of a few addictions to cure'
This was what I was thinking when Father was explaining the Gospel - the actual text was about that guy on a stretcher whom they lowered down from the hole in the roof, Mark 2. I'm not proud to admit that I can't remember HOW this is related to addiction, but apparently it is.
Do I feel horrible about it?
Yes.
Do I actually intend on quitting?
No, not so much.
Hey, at least I'm honest right?
Yeaaaah, probably not.
On another note, it's now 12.47pm. Which means that today is Sunday. This in turn means that tomorrow, the exams start. Sejarah, to be exact. Die lah.
OH! And, I was greatly amused and slightly inspired when I read this post on T*****'s blog. I can never get bored of this blog, it's like a window into this guy's mind. The words in yellow are my favorite. Check it out at this link
http://xtxrx.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-give-up.html
Now, it's time to sleep. I just took a muscle relaxant and I'm feeling so high. :D
Awesome isn't it?
Yeah, I know right.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
This was what I was thinking when Father was explaining the Gospel - the actual text was about that guy on a stretcher whom they lowered down from the hole in the roof, Mark 2. I'm not proud to admit that I can't remember HOW this is related to addiction, but apparently it is.
Do I feel horrible about it?
Yes.
Do I actually intend on quitting?
No, not so much.
Hey, at least I'm honest right?
Yeaaaah, probably not.
On another note, it's now 12.47pm. Which means that today is Sunday. This in turn means that tomorrow, the exams start. Sejarah, to be exact. Die lah.
OH! And, I was greatly amused and slightly inspired when I read this post on T*****'s blog. I can never get bored of this blog, it's like a window into this guy's mind. The words in yellow are my favorite. Check it out at this link
http://xtxrx.blogspot.com/2012/02/i-give-up.html
Now, it's time to sleep. I just took a muscle relaxant and I'm feeling so high. :D
Awesome isn't it?
Yeah, I know right.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
For Who I Cannot Be
You do not know me.
Not like the others do.
Hate and loathing know me.
They know me through and true.
I am not what I appear to be,
the light that shines is but a glow,
of the torn apart remains,
of the real me you cannot know.
If only guilt, how lovely that would be!
But among myself I am most despised.
For no greater hate can man know,
than for oneself a careful hate devised.
No crime have I committed,
yet myself won't let me be!
So sinful is my grief alone,
and the disdain I have for me.
Self-loathing, I deserve it,
but I do not answer why,
For depression is her own judge
and alone in fault I lie.
For there is no greater condemnation
than that which is your own.
Which forces you, unwillingly,
To blame yourself alone.
For who you cannot be.
- By C F Tinney, Created on April 14 2008 -
Not like the others do.
Hate and loathing know me.
They know me through and true.
I am not what I appear to be,
the light that shines is but a glow,
of the torn apart remains,
of the real me you cannot know.
If only guilt, how lovely that would be!
But among myself I am most despised.
For no greater hate can man know,
than for oneself a careful hate devised.
No crime have I committed,
yet myself won't let me be!
So sinful is my grief alone,
and the disdain I have for me.
Self-loathing, I deserve it,
but I do not answer why,
For depression is her own judge
and alone in fault I lie.
For there is no greater condemnation
than that which is your own.
Which forces you, unwillingly,
To blame yourself alone.
For who you cannot be.
- By C F Tinney, Created on April 14 2008 -
Monday, February 13, 2012
Fix Me?
Cause you really hurt me
Oh you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
Oh you really hurt me
- Coldplay, Princess of China -
Oh you really hurt me
Cause you really hurt me
Oh you really hurt me
- Coldplay, Princess of China -
Sunday, February 12, 2012
I See Brainwaves
I'm beginning to detest school with every fibre of my being. I don't think I've ever hated school so much - Maths maybe, but school - never. I was actually thrilled to move on to Form 5, you know, with it being my last year and all, but now I really really can't stand it.
The reason, you may wonder...
My class
Yes, I am in the first class of my form, 5A, and the atmosphere is just terrible. It literally FEELS like the air is too thick - too dense. It's like everyone is walking around with a thundercloud over their head (or maybe that's just me) and there's so much negative energy around me. I don't know how else to describe it - aura, juju, brainwaves - call it what you want.
Now, you'd think that being in the first class, I'd be smart.
WRONG.
I'm the opposite of everyone in that class - which is probably why I'm feeling the heat so early on in the year. 'Smart enough to get in, but not smart enough to survive' is how I would describe myself. I'll be the last in the first class, just you wait. And even if I was in the second class, I'd probably be last as well - that's how brainy these people are.
And to make matters even worse, I've been slacking ever since I entered Form 4 - thinking I was all high and mighty just because I got 7A's - Yeah, BIG MISTAKE.
So now, the end result is that I have a whole year's worth of Form 4 backlog (that's nine subjects, mind you) plus a whole new round of Form 5 work as well.
Oh yes, and next week I have a monthly exam which I haven't studied for like I promised myself I would. Haih.
Moving on, Inez was right. All along. Taking another subject just decreases the probability of getting straight A+ - I knew this. I also knew that BK is so difficult to score because it's just like sejarah, except the markers are more strict - Way more strict.
And with all this, I just have to dig my grave a bit deeper and add piano exams into the mix. Yes, I just LOVE looking for trouble. As you may or may not know, I decided to finish up my Grade 6 practical this year and my exam is in April. I suck. Five year olds play better than me - my second song sucks so bad and as usual, scales and sight reading are my downfall.
The BEST part of all, is that I brought this upon myself. It's not like my parents MADE me do it, I chose it. So now, I blame no one but myself. Great - as if I need another reason to hate myself.
The reason, you may wonder...
My class
Yes, I am in the first class of my form, 5A, and the atmosphere is just terrible. It literally FEELS like the air is too thick - too dense. It's like everyone is walking around with a thundercloud over their head (or maybe that's just me) and there's so much negative energy around me. I don't know how else to describe it - aura, juju, brainwaves - call it what you want.
Now, you'd think that being in the first class, I'd be smart.
WRONG.
I'm the opposite of everyone in that class - which is probably why I'm feeling the heat so early on in the year. 'Smart enough to get in, but not smart enough to survive' is how I would describe myself. I'll be the last in the first class, just you wait. And even if I was in the second class, I'd probably be last as well - that's how brainy these people are.
And to make matters even worse, I've been slacking ever since I entered Form 4 - thinking I was all high and mighty just because I got 7A's - Yeah, BIG MISTAKE.
So now, the end result is that I have a whole year's worth of Form 4 backlog (that's nine subjects, mind you) plus a whole new round of Form 5 work as well.
Oh yes, and next week I have a monthly exam which I haven't studied for like I promised myself I would. Haih.
Moving on, Inez was right. All along. Taking another subject just decreases the probability of getting straight A+ - I knew this. I also knew that BK is so difficult to score because it's just like sejarah, except the markers are more strict - Way more strict.
And with all this, I just have to dig my grave a bit deeper and add piano exams into the mix. Yes, I just LOVE looking for trouble. As you may or may not know, I decided to finish up my Grade 6 practical this year and my exam is in April. I suck. Five year olds play better than me - my second song sucks so bad and as usual, scales and sight reading are my downfall.
The BEST part of all, is that I brought this upon myself. It's not like my parents MADE me do it, I chose it. So now, I blame no one but myself. Great - as if I need another reason to hate myself.
Friday, February 3, 2012
Major Distractions During Physics
Do you know what you do to me? Huh?
Every time I see you my mind goes on a field trip,
When you're talking about wave interference,
All I can think about is how good you'd look in a white shirt,
Or maybe no shirt at all,
But It's alright - I'm not complaining.
Haha!
Every time I see you my mind goes on a field trip,
When you're talking about wave interference,
All I can think about is how good you'd look in a white shirt,
Or maybe no shirt at all,
But It's alright - I'm not complaining.
Haha!
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Present Is A Gift, Or So I'm Told
You know how when sometimes, you feel like you're floating through life? So eager, looking to the future and in doing so, throughly missing out the present. Running forward so fast that you just pass everything by.
About five minutes ago, I stopped running and I looked up
I don't know where I am
I don't know who I've become
And I don't know why
Is it too early to have identity issues? To be complaining about pieces of my life that I just can't recall? A quarter life crisis?
Am I too young to be losing my mind to myself?
Does that make sense to you? Cause I don't get it.
Help - Someone help.
About five minutes ago, I stopped running and I looked up
I don't know where I am
I don't know who I've become
And I don't know why
Is it too early to have identity issues? To be complaining about pieces of my life that I just can't recall? A quarter life crisis?
Am I too young to be losing my mind to myself?
Does that make sense to you? Cause I don't get it.
Help - Someone help.
Pay First, People Second
Rosmah, Rosmah you've done it again.
From blowing up Mongolian models to buying diamond rings that cost 73 million ringgit, Rosmah Mansor has certainly been a very busy First Lady. Now don't underestimate her, for this is a woman who is as sly as she is thick.
Roughly the size and weight of a baby elephant, Rosmah or Ros as Ive affectionately christened her, is slowly but surely sticking her sausage like fingers into the taxpayers wallets to fish for change to pay for her flamboyant, carefree lifestyle.
Not only that, but before this, she quietly blew up a Mongolian modal into a million eenie weenie pieces for having an affair with her lousy excuse for a husband - not that it's unjustifiable - I mean, who wouldn't have an affair whilst married to Ros.
And most recently, Ros was seen on an extravagant shopping spree with Najib (his nickname is Jibby) in Sydney Australia...
What on earth would our dear Ros need with '61 dresses, pants and tops' that come up to RM 325,000? I mean, all she ever seems to be wearing are baju kurung's (which don't come cheap either).
I could imagine up a thousand things to do with 75 million ringgit, couldn't you?
Schools could be upgraded, emphasizing on quality instead of quantity. Government hospitals could be rebuilt, refurbished and provide outstanding medical care for citizens for a fraction of the cost of private hospitals. More scholarships could be given out to students who actually deserve it. Highway tolls could be reduced and roads and bridges (the MRR2 for instance) could be maintained for a hundred years. Childcare, Senior citizens, government servants, the EPF fund, school textbooks, the environment!
There is an endless list of positive progress that can be achieved (easily) with RM 75 mil and more. If it weren't for our unbelievably greedy, self absorbed, half-witted ministers, government and Prime Minister, we'd be a thriving nation that it's people can be proud of, ready to take on the world. Malaysia Boleh would then have some meaning.
But until then (then meaning the 13th GE), the unfortunate people of Malaysia will just have to put up with the likes of Muhyiddin, Rosmah, Nazri, Najib and more.
Without the people, the government is nothing. We have the power to change the course of the nation's future for the better. Use it wisely. :D
From blowing up Mongolian models to buying diamond rings that cost 73 million ringgit, Rosmah Mansor has certainly been a very busy First Lady. Now don't underestimate her, for this is a woman who is as sly as she is thick.
 |
| Although, Ros isnt as cute as this... |
Roughly the size and weight of a baby elephant, Rosmah or Ros as Ive affectionately christened her, is slowly but surely sticking her sausage like fingers into the taxpayers wallets to fish for change to pay for her flamboyant, carefree lifestyle.
 |
| That ring could feed orphans for a long LONG time |
Not only that, but before this, she quietly blew up a Mongolian modal into a million eenie weenie pieces for having an affair with her lousy excuse for a husband - not that it's unjustifiable - I mean, who wouldn't have an affair whilst married to Ros.
And most recently, Ros was seen on an extravagant shopping spree with Najib (his nickname is Jibby) in Sydney Australia...
(The Malaysian Insider) - Datin Seri Rosmah Mansor has dismissed claims of extravagant spending during a recent holiday in Sydney, Australia, saying today she’s a victim of exaggerated claims.
“It’s all rubbish, wildly exaggerated and not true,” the prime minister’s wife told reporters today at the MCA Chinese New Year open house here.
“I’m always the victim,” she added.
Several bloggers picked up an Australian daily Sydney Morning Herald report that Rosmah had allegedly dropped an estimated RM325,000 in fashion designer Carl Kapp’s boutique during a private holiday a little more than a fortnight ago.
Kapp had told the ‘Private Sydney’ section that Rosmah “was absolutely gracious and very easy to deal with”, adding that she was nothing like the woman often portrayed by the local media for her extravagant lifestyle.
It was said that Kapp, who became suspicious of the identity of his mystery VIP customer when his Oxford Street store received a flurry of calls requesting valet parking for her limousine, said he was being flown to Malaysia next month with a collection of “toiles” for Rosmah to try on before completing her massive order of 61 dresses, pants, and tops.
What on earth would our dear Ros need with '61 dresses, pants and tops' that come up to RM 325,000? I mean, all she ever seems to be wearing are baju kurung's (which don't come cheap either).
I could imagine up a thousand things to do with 75 million ringgit, couldn't you?
Schools could be upgraded, emphasizing on quality instead of quantity. Government hospitals could be rebuilt, refurbished and provide outstanding medical care for citizens for a fraction of the cost of private hospitals. More scholarships could be given out to students who actually deserve it. Highway tolls could be reduced and roads and bridges (the MRR2 for instance) could be maintained for a hundred years. Childcare, Senior citizens, government servants, the EPF fund, school textbooks, the environment!
There is an endless list of positive progress that can be achieved (easily) with RM 75 mil and more. If it weren't for our unbelievably greedy, self absorbed, half-witted ministers, government and Prime Minister, we'd be a thriving nation that it's people can be proud of, ready to take on the world. Malaysia Boleh would then have some meaning.
But until then (then meaning the 13th GE), the unfortunate people of Malaysia will just have to put up with the likes of Muhyiddin, Rosmah, Nazri, Najib and more.
Without the people, the government is nothing. We have the power to change the course of the nation's future for the better. Use it wisely. :D
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Mortal Kombat!
I am definitely not a serious gamer to say the least. Before about 3 days ago, the last I touched the PS2 was early Christmas. But most recently, I've become slightly obsessed with Mortal Kombat! - specifically MK : Armageddon. And my favorite character is Mileena.
She is, in my opinion, the HOTTEST MK character. A close second would have to be either Jade or Princess Kitana.
Devoid of any conscience, Mileena is the creation of Shang Tsung as a clone of Kitana, but she was mixed with Tarkatan DNA to give her a rather... distorted look. A wide mouth filled with long razor sharp teeth hide behind that veil of hers. Her greatest desire is to kill her 'sister' and claim the throne to Edenia.
 |
| Mileena in MK 9 |
She is, in my opinion, the HOTTEST MK character. A close second would have to be either Jade or Princess Kitana.
 |
| Kitana, Princess of Edenia |
 |
| Jade, Badass |
Devoid of any conscience, Mileena is the creation of Shang Tsung as a clone of Kitana, but she was mixed with Tarkatan DNA to give her a rather... distorted look. A wide mouth filled with long razor sharp teeth hide behind that veil of hers. Her greatest desire is to kill her 'sister' and claim the throne to Edenia.
 |
| Winning smile ;) |
Her fatalities in Mortal Kombat 9 are awesome (and bloodier) and the graphics are much better than MK Armageddon, obviously. Unfortunately, they don't make MK 9 for PS2 - I nearly broke down when I found out. Oh well...
My favourite Mileena fatality from MK 9. Its called 'Be Mine'.
Some people think its grotesque, I just think its cool.
 |
| Jade, Kitana, Mileena, Sindel and Sonya - The Ladies of Mortal Kombat |
Monday, January 16, 2012
Time Heals All Things
This is not mine. I was sifting through the net and I found it. Its beautiful and I thought it'd be appropriate.
Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
- Anais Nin
You meant more to me than you know...
Love never dies a natural death.
It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source.
It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals.
It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of withering, of tarnishing.
- Anais Nin
You meant more to me than you know...
Sunday, January 15, 2012
Confessions
Kv ycu og,
K uvqng kv ugxgp agctu ciq,
K vtkgf vq ikxg kv dcem,
Dwv aqw eqwnfpv tgogodgt,
Ko uqtta,
Ko uq uqtta.
-3
K uvqng kv ugxgp agctu ciq,
K vtkgf vq ikxg kv dcem,
Dwv aqw eqwnfpv tgogodgt,
Ko uqtta,
Ko uq uqtta.
-3
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Luxuria
Love be not a consideration for a vice as such
Uncontrollable and yet unsubdued desire
Smothered with fire and brimstone be my eternal sentence
Terrified but deterred I am not
Uncontrollable and yet unsubdued desire
Smothered with fire and brimstone be my eternal sentence
Terrified but deterred I am not
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Watch Me Burn
Kisses like cocaine
Hits me like a freight train
Shoot me up and keep me going all night
Monday, January 2, 2012
Thanks, That Was Fast...
Salvation comes not in the form of a blade,
No, not tonight,
Now it's is a woman,
A brave woman who trudges on long after I've given up,
Who keeps faith where I've faltered,
She keeps us together,
Like she's been doing all this time.
She would rather be hated by those whom she loves,
Than to have their innocence be defiled by lies and deceit,
For that is what happened,
For one unfortunate moment,
I thought her cruel and unforgiving,
Had only I known.
I've been far less than perfect,
I've been difficult and irritating,
Resentful and faithless,
And in a mere evening,
She fixed me,
She held the pieces of my broken heart and battered soul,
Gently but with a firm reassurance,
She put me back together,
For the first time in a long time,
I felt complete.
Yes, salvation is here,
And I've stopped crying for now,
Because I have just realized exactly how lucky I am,
For there is nothing more I could want,
Than you.
I love you Ma
No, not tonight,
Now it's is a woman,
A brave woman who trudges on long after I've given up,
Who keeps faith where I've faltered,
She keeps us together,
Like she's been doing all this time.
She would rather be hated by those whom she loves,
Than to have their innocence be defiled by lies and deceit,
For that is what happened,
For one unfortunate moment,
I thought her cruel and unforgiving,
Had only I known.
I've been far less than perfect,
I've been difficult and irritating,
Resentful and faithless,
And in a mere evening,
She fixed me,
She held the pieces of my broken heart and battered soul,
Gently but with a firm reassurance,
She put me back together,
For the first time in a long time,
I felt complete.
Yes, salvation is here,
And I've stopped crying for now,
Because I have just realized exactly how lucky I am,
For there is nothing more I could want,
Than you.
I love you Ma
Sunday, January 1, 2012
There's a Blue Elephant in the Living Room
If no one says anything, then everything's fine.
That's my family motto.
How can anything be wrong if nothing is mentioned. So, we put on a smile and waltz through our lives pretending to be oblivious to the humungous elephant occupying our living room. I'd like to think this elephant is 17ft tall, baby blue in colour and fits snugly in between the armchair and coffee table. It follows us around. Everywhere. The porch, the kitchen, the shop where we buy bread.
We won't be left alone until someone talks about it. But YOU know. And I know. That's not going to happen. So we will be plagued by this blue elephant until someone goes insane or I hang myself.
Ignorance really is bliss.
That's my family motto.
How can anything be wrong if nothing is mentioned. So, we put on a smile and waltz through our lives pretending to be oblivious to the humungous elephant occupying our living room. I'd like to think this elephant is 17ft tall, baby blue in colour and fits snugly in between the armchair and coffee table. It follows us around. Everywhere. The porch, the kitchen, the shop where we buy bread.
We won't be left alone until someone talks about it. But YOU know. And I know. That's not going to happen. So we will be plagued by this blue elephant until someone goes insane or I hang myself.
Ignorance really is bliss.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
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